Oliver Cowdry has a go at translating. But was it with the Urim and Thummim, or Smitty's pet rock?
So, "heft your box", get "innoculized", and try not to look "old like Skeletor".
(re: crazy arguments of the faithful, who then call sane people crazy for not "getting" it)
Sister Gigi: "Jesus Christ stop pissing on my leg and telling me it's rain!"
Sister Patience: "It's a spiritual golden shower, Gigi!"
Sister Gigi: "He put his head into a hat, and pulled shit out of his ass, and that is the Book of Mormon."